The opinions expressed herein are those of the author, and not necessarily those of The New Agenda.
In Caitlin Moran’s outrageous, funny and heartbreakingly honest feminist manifesto How to Be a Woman, she calls for a fifth wave (by her count) of feminism to rise up. Pointing at the statistics that say only 29% of American women and 42% of British women call themselves Feminists, she rails at the anti-feminism sentiment and the quasi-feminist hand-wring:
“What do you think feminism, IS, ladies? What part of “liberation for women” is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay?… Did all that good shit GET ON YOUR NERVES? Or were you just DRUNK AT THE TIME OF THE SURVEY?”
I’ll confess, I’ve been guilty of the charge. The label of “feminist” seemed an uncomfortable fit. I’ve always clung rather tightly to the cherished ideals of freedom and equality for women that the founding fathers spelled out for white men at the forming of this country. I believed and defended passionately that we too have the inalienable right to Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness. But, well, I didn’t and don’t hate men. And that seemed to be the sticking point.
As a freshmen in college, I was all but drummed out of my Women in History course and later called a “Stupid Bi*** by another woman for not toeing their feminist party line that all men are bad. So I took a step back from all that feminist anger and I never fully stepped back in — until 2008. (Read Anita Finlay’s book Dirty Words On Clean Skin if you managed to miss the misogyny in the 2008 election).
Sure, over the years, I’d seen, heard and experienced plenty of sexism and misogyny up close and personal. Sometimes, on a daily basis. What woman hasn’t? But I just kept my head down and quietly chip away at it on my own. My anger and frustration equally divided between the sexist patriarchal types who were then verbally and mentally assaulting me and the “all men are bad” feminists who had earlier rejected me. And always, I reminded myself that it could be much worse.
Yes. There are places in the world where horrific and unspeakable acts against women bring international outrage and rightly so. American women have truly made major strides over the last 238 years. We are no longer the legal property of our husband or father. We can now own property, live independently, vote, earn a paycheck, get a loan, control our own reproduction… Yet we’ve reach 2012 without a woman (or two or three) as president or vice-president. We now have an election underway for the highest office without a single women representing the 51% of the population that is female.
But the lack of representation is only an outward face of an ugly underbelly. Somewhere, somehow the tone of the patriarchy has shifted. The provocative sexist bravado that seemed a male response to the female sexual revolution of the 60′s, 70′s and 80′s has deepened into a nasty, aggressive misogyny that has become codified as a social norm by media and advertising. (For just a taste watch the Miss Representation movie trailer.)
This is where I draw the line. It is also why I joined The New Agenda. The misogyny needs to stop.
And I agree with Ms. Moran that we should take “a Zero Tolerance policy on the Patriarchal Broken Windows Bullshit” issues in our lives and that it needs to be “tackled, rugby-style, face down in the mud, with lots of shouting.” I also agree those little every day patriarchal cuts do damage and over time they wear us down to the point where we end up hating ourselves and empowering the cutters.
But here is the part I found most provocative and empowering in Ms. Moran’s book, it is her strategy for changing the dynamics of this wave of feminism through:
A demand for politeness among all 6 billion regardless of team –
“…you can argue–argue until you cry–about what modern, codified misogyny is; but straight-up ungentlemanliness, of the kind his mother would clatter the back of his head for, is unarguable.”
A re-centering the struggle on power vs. equality –
“… I don’t think that ‘men’/maleness/male sexuality is the problem here. I don’t think sexism is a ‘man vs. woman’ thing. The man is not The Man simply because he is a man. Sometimes, The Man is a woman… Men don’t do this shit to women just because of their ‘femaleness.’ AND I DON’T THINK IT’S ABOUT SEX… What I see, instead, is winner vs. loser. Most sexism is down to men being accustomed to us being losers.”
And responding with humor –
“…if there is to be a fifth wave of feminism, I would hope that the main thing that distinguishes it from all that came before is that women counter the awkwardness, disconnect, and bullshit of being a modern woman not by shouting at it, internalizing it, or squabbling about it — but by simply pointing at it and going ‘HA!’ instead”
Whether we call ourselves Feminists or not, whether we are of the fourth, fifth or sixth wave, and whether we respond with humor or not, we each need to take our turn in the trenches fighting the good fight for women’s equality while giving birth to our own feminist ideals. After all, it’s not like we don’t all have a stake in our success. We’ve come too far to go back now.
I agree that it is time for young women to stand up and take over the feminist movement and bring new energy and direction to it. The movement has grown stagnant and the old leaders and old ways have accomplished all they are going to accomplish. Gay folks and people of color have achieved parity in political representation in these last 20 years, so it is time for women to stop directing so much of their energy to those causes and now take on their own cause of political parity for women. Clearly no one is going to do it for us even though we have a long history of helping others.
Bes, Can you please provide data for your claim that people of color and gays have achieved parity in politics? In congress that may be the case for African-Americans. But there are no AA senators and just one governor (unless I’m missing someone). And openly gay legislators remain few and far between. If elected, Tammy Baldwin would be the first openly gay person to serve in the Senate.
Where is the statement from Obama and the democrats and the Obama supporting media about Jason Biggs tweeting he wants to sexually assualt Janna Ryan. Didn’t we just have this discussion and democrats were horrified about Akin’s statment on rape? Funny how they are silent over calls for rape of a republican women. We see this over and over again. Democrats could lead on this but they won’t because they have no problem with the rape of women. How can women come together in this kind of hate climate?
Kimble: Why do the gay politicians have to be openly gay to count? There are a few out gay politicians, Barney Frank comes to mind.
Here is a list from Wikipedia which of course may or may not be accurate http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C.....oliticians
Here is the list of lesbian politicians, again it is Wikipedia so it’s possibly accurate http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C.....oliticians
It is speculated that we have already had a gay President with pretty good evidence. And lets not forget all the bathroom toe tapping and male intern harassing scandals which indicate there are more gay politicians than one might think. It is estimated that 4% of the population is homosexual.
This website lists 86 politicians of color in Congress http://www.ethnicmajority.com/congress.htm so that
would be about 17%, it isn’t perfect parity but it’s a hell of a lot better than women who are 52% of the population have about 17% of positions in Congress. So I would say women have worked to help gay folks and persons of color representation in Congress and it is time for them to repay the favor and direct their orgs to direct their energies to achieving political parity for women 52% of the population.
I have heard this claim before that women’s organizations and feminist organizations have put the struggles of minorities and gay folks ahead of their own but I have not been able to find one speck of evidence of it. I have gone back almost half a century in the search. Looking at the public positions of NOW, NARAL, prominent feminist writings and other sources and I have found no evidence that these organizations placed the rights of AA’s or Hispanic folks ahead of traditional feminism. If their is such public writings or positions or movements within the women’s movement in the last 40 years please let me know; I’m doing some research that includes that topic
respectfully
ryan
“Whether we call ourselves Feminists or not, whether we are of the fourth, fifth or sixth wave, and whether we respond with humor or not, we each need to take our turn in the trenches fighting the good fight for women’s equality while giving birth to our own feminist ideals.”
I completely agree, but unfortunately women seem to insist on remaining divided according to political party. We just had a huge national convention full of powerful political women, Nikki Haley, Janna Ryan, Ann Romney, Susana Martinez, etc, etc, and people just called them “corporate wives” or tweeted demeaning sexual comments about them.
“Feminist” is not a four letter word. I think that Moran is right about the winners/losers worldview but I think that sexism originally arose out of men’s envy that women bear babies.
Julie, not having heard of Jason Biggs and, frankly, not knowing who Janna Ryan was off the top of my head, I googled them. First, Biggs, an actor, did not tweet a sexual assault threat against Ryan. He tweeted a gross indication that he would be happy to have anal sex with her. There was no threat or indication of force in the tweet. It was disgusting but it had nothing to do with rape.
So, why does a grossly sexual tweet from a third-rate actor require a shout down from the president? What government office or high profile job does he hold? What laws has this actor submitted to Congress? Other than having a common ick factor, what do he and Todd Akin have in common?
yttik, what prominent Democratic woman tweeted “demeaning sexual comments” about any of the women you listed? For that matter, what prominent Democratic woman called any of the women that you mentioned a “corporate wife”. True, Juan Williams, a black conservative male Fox commentator called Ann Romney a corporate wife but he’s not a Democrat and he’s certainly not a woman.
The constant, baseless assaults on Democrats on this site may be part of the reason that there are so few commenters.
Ryan, I can’t give you a specific citation but I stopped paying dues to NOW and subscribing to MS magazine around 1980 because it seemed that too much of their time and energy was spent on gay and lesbian specific issues. I wanted to see my concerns that were specifically related to my experience as a woman such as equal pay, sexual harassment and discrimination and sexual assault addressed. All women, including lesbians, would benefit from changing societal norms on those issues.
Jean Louise,
It is the culture of hatred, violence and degradation against women the democrats have created that made me comment. “Republican women are not real women”? How childish are these people.
I don’t care if Jason Biggs is not a prominent democrat, he and many other men and women, follow the lead of the democratic party. Bill Maher, hollywood celebrities, the Black caucus, TV talking heads, Paul Krugman all feel free to spew their hatred and violence and lies because they know it is acceptable to their party. Aiken makes a stupid remark and it is end of the world. OWS, supported by democrats, did not want women to report rapes because it made them look bad.
“The constant, baseless assaults on Democrats on this site may be part of the reason that there are so few commenters.” So we are only allowed to dicuss when republicans make stupid remarks or try to pass a bill that is against women. Democrats should get a pass?
Isn’t that how we got where we are today? It’s okay for democrats to call for rape and violende against women because they are democrats? You can’t fix a problem if you can’t talk about it.
What the democrats did in 2008 to Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin has escalated. That behavior was acceptable. Any woman that dares run for President against a man in the democrat party must be destroyed.
only 29% of American women and 42% of British women call themselves Feminists
Sad. Really sad. Something went completely off the rails if college women’s studies programs devolved into making feminism all about man-hating and not about women.
Seriously, there will be no empowerment of women if we fight each other over these two parties that have been using us since the beginning. While one party has been giving us lip service and the other has openly sought to control us (and is solely responsible for the marginalization of the word “feminist”), neither party has our best interests at heart. One thinks we’re private property and the other thinks we’re public property.
This is the suckiest election year ever for women. If only there was a woman running. Oh, wait…
And for those who think that voting Green is wasting your vote, explain to me how much of a better investment that vote is with either the Democrat or the Republican candidate. Tell me how either of those parties really gives a shit about you.
Silence is the voice of complicity! This isn’t about who said what, it’s about creating and condoning a hostile work environment for ALL women. When Republican women do something ground breaking and powerful, like we saw with the recent convention, at best there is silence from the media, at worst there are demeaning sexual references. And here we are complaining about those demeaning sexist remarks and what seems to be the number one priority? How we shouldn’t make “baseless assaults on Democrats.” So once again protecting and defending the Dem party takes precedence over speaking up for women.
Yttik, I admit that I don’t watch TV news, but I do follow political websites and online newspapers carefully. I’ve seen a lot of positive coverage of speeches given by women at the RNC–in particular by Ann Romney, Susanna Martinez and Condoleeza Rice.
Groundbreaking?
Ground breaking applies to things that haven’t been done before. I give credit to the republican party for nominating a woman for VP; it was good and it was progress. But I also give credit to the democratic party for doing the same thing only 24 years earlier and they didn’t need to try to take advantage of a fractured apposing party to be motivated to do it.
Having women speak at a convention is no grand achievement. Nominating a woman VP would have been. It seems that women are thrown a bone by each party during convention time but in the end it always ends up with men in complete charge in the US once the election is over. After this election, one thing is certain. Men will control the white house completely; both the presidency and vice presidency.
No number of women speakers during the conventions will change that. Women are at war alright; they are at war with each other far more than they should be. The goal is a women at least near the top if not the top. It can be achieved but first women have to stop this circular firing squad that shoots down every chance women get to change the country. The fact is Neither party is your friend. Your true friends are you sisters and mothers; your coworkers and women friends that have been by your side from the beginning. NEVER rely on one party of the other for salvation. Salvation lies within.
The democrats are bad/republicans are bad argument is a political death trap for women and slows progress for women and both parties know it and far too many women participate in it. No doubt a woman will be president someday hopefully not in 50 years but in five. We hope anyway.
Yes, groundbreaking! That’s what I mean about how divided women are over politics. What is dismissed so casually as, “Having women speak at a convention is no grand achievement,” completely disrespects women like Susana Martinez, the first female Governor of New Mexico. That is groundbreaking! Or Condi Rice, first female African American Sec of State. Or Mia Love. Or any of the other ground breaking women that have paved a path.
I loved all those speeches at the Republican convention. It shows that the Republicans are growing and encouraging a strong group of women leaders for the future. Also it shows women voters being considered real citizens with a full range of human concerns not just reproductive organs. Now those women need to be left to serve out their elected terms so that we will have a group of senior experienced women politicians. We also need women in the cabinet of the next President but those should be drawn from women who are in business or have served their elected terms. The Dems keep pulling women from their elected positions to fill obscure cabinet positions and that is a huge mistake for women in the long run, but of course Dems obviously don’t want women to advance.
Sophie, great reminder that the green party has two women running. while neither of the two big ones can find a capable woman or is simply afraid to counter the sexist showdown experienced in 08.
not just reproductive organs
I wish people wouldn’t say “just.” It’s like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs…if you don’t have food, clothing and shelter, then self-actualization is significantly out of reach.
If Republicans don’t want to be judged solely on “reproductive organs” then they might want to stop introducing legislation that limits women’s free and fair use of said organs. Over 25 Republican state and federal legislators introduced bills last year that in one way or another pushed back a woman’s rights over her own body.
yttik
yes it is groundbreaking for women speakers if that’s all you want to settle for. After the election we can settle in for another god knows how many years with men in charge. The logical extension of your opinion is correct that these women will eventually move up the top. I respectfully suggest that given the current makeup of both parties that will not happen. The parties are offering you a carrot for your votes. If you do not demand more that is all you will get from them. Women have been in the pipeline of both parties for a quarter of a century or more and none are any closer to the white house than they were 25 years ago.
I’m just suggesting that though your thoughts are logical they assume that men will follow that logic in the political parties. I suggest women demand much much more. The gods (or goddesses) give their love to those that demand the impossible.
Sophie: It is important that you remember that I have freedom from reproduction(Thankyou God! not that I don’t cherish my children) Women over 45 have freedom from reproduction. Women who are lesbians or don’t have sex with men have freedom from reproduction. Many married women welcome however many children they are sent and don’t worry about reproductive issues. Birth control has improved in both safety and effectiveness and availability. So in this economy it is a stretch for most women to consider reproductive issues their top political priority. But I do give money to both NARAL and Planned Parenthood.
The economy is a disaster and when women my age get laid off they don’t find new jobs that replace their lost earnings. They also haven’t been able to earn any interest on the retirement savings they didn’t lose in the economic upheaval. Their future looks dim.
Bes, that’s a really sad argument. Because you already have autonomy over your own body, let’s trade away everyone else’s so we can have economic security? I can’t even go there. By the way, birth control is on the table with them too.
Note: My position is from a place of complete reproductive autonomy, being a post-menopausal Lesbian and thus having all the reproductive autonomy I need. Having seen what lack of reproductive freedom did to the generations before me, I do not wish it on the generations after me.
I do not think reproductive freedom is the only issue. I think it’s the root issue. I also think we’re capable of thinking about more than one issue at a time.
Sophie: I have three cousins who have each lost their homes. I have two other relatives who lost their career jobs over the age of 55. They lost their jobs 4 years ago and haven’t been able to find a new job in their field. I have been informed I will be laid off next year which really doesn’t matter because I don’t have to work but I would prefer to have a job and I send money to less fortunate family members which will have to stop. People can’t even sell their houses for enough to break even so they can move to a place that might have jobs. Banks are taking property, throwing people into the streets and then letting the properties rot which makes the rest of the neighborhood look undesirable or they sell the repo’s for a third of what they’re worth competing with all the regular people who are trying to sell. Not one person in the Banking industry has gone to prison for this. This needs to be a focus for government which should be working for the people. Dems controlled all branches of government for two years and did nothing but engineer a government take over of health care. BTW my health ins co pay has gone up from $10. to $25, I don’t consider that helpful.
Here is your solution to reproductive autonomy, use your birth control or stay away from men if that idea fails there is always Plan B. No need for government action. Also rather than get caught up in an energy wasting discussion about what is and what isn’t covered in your government and industry provided health care make a legal point of who owns said health care. Does government own your health care? Will your employer own your health care? I suggest the law be written so that each individual own their own health care and then the government and industry can go to hell I will put what ever I want in my health care.
Bes, I am not advocating an either/or position. I said we can think about more than one issue at a time. I believe we can have reproductive autonomy AND a good economy. That’s hardly an extremist point of view.
I’m still making payments on my underwater house (a modest one at that) because I’m lucky enough to still have a job. My entire life savings is tied up in the equity loss. My job now takes up 60-70 hours a week (with no extra pay) because that’s what it means to have a job today. We do whatever we’re told and we don’t dare complain because we’re lucky to have work. They know it. We know it.
You know what’s worse than being homeless and/or under/unemployed? Being homeless and/or under/unemployed with an unwanted pregnancy.
Is this what we’ve come to: condemning people for having the gall to have sex during a recession?
“I believe we can have reproductive autonomy AND a good economy.”
Not with the current politics, we can’t, because the divisiveness has not only harmed the economy, it has created more people who do not support choice and 32 states passing legislation to restrict it.
Both a thriving economy and women’s autonomy require good leadership and policies that bring the country together. Attempting to shove things down people’s throats causes resistance and then you have unintended consequences and a backlash. People are not going to create jobs given the current conditions and more and more people are going to start objecting to abortion, too, as polls have shown.
I give money to both Planned Parenthood and NARAL. As far as I can tell Democrats are promising to maintain my reproductive freedom. I don’t need the government to do that for me now and I didn’t need their interference when I was young. By the way who is it that set up the system that enabled the male bureaucracies of Government, Employers and the Catholic (or any) church to interfere or even offer their perspective on my reproductive options? Obama and the Democrat Congress. I am also sick of the Democrats reproductive rights dog whistle. I am focusing somewhere else on a different issue. Democrats had both houses and the Presidency for two years and they could have put through a bill firming up reproductive rights, they didn’t because they prefer to have the issue to use to scare women.
The Republicans promise to heal the economy and our problem with joblessness. That seems like an issue that only the government can solve. I am going to vote for Romney Ryan this time. Do not mistake that for party loyalty. I think any woman who is loyal to either party is a fool. All your unquestioning loyalty will get you is ignored.