Internet Porn: Desensitizing Men, and Increasing Brutality Towards Women
March 5, 2011
by Kristen DeFalco
|The opinions expressed herein are those of the author, and not necessarily those of The New Agenda.
When we think about internet pornography, we tend to think about people having sex and the objectification of women. However, I was recently enlightened by a friend to a new aspect of internet pornography: rape. While we were chatting, he showed me a free website that allows internet users to watch a large collection of adult videos that covered every possible fetish imaginable. What he showed me next had me deeply disturbed. There was a large selection of “rape” videos, many of which could pass for l
egitimate rape scenes with real struggles ensuing. Most unsettling was the thought that anyone could access these videos, and that these websites are completely free of charge; a child would have no problem stumbling upon them.
This creates a new dilemma for women: the possible desensitization of boys and men to violent acts against women. I have done much research on this subject, but to my surprise, there are very few studies available on the effects of such material. Perhaps this is due to pornography only recently becoming easily accessible through the internet. What I have learned, however, is that watching violence on a regular basis does in fact desensitize the viewer, and by the end of most of these studies, the viewer had reported less feelings of sympathy for the victim. Porn is only becoming increasingly violent to feed the addiction of its viewers; it is no longer satisfying enough for men to watch pornography that is consensual, with a man and a woman having sex on camera. Men are demanding more violence, brutality, and humiliation in these videos to fulfill their urges.
However, the problem women face with violent pornography is not simply the fact that men watch it, but because it is extremely addicting. It is this repeated exposure in which men can become dangerously desensitized.
“The experience of sexual arousal can be intense when viewing pornography, and as a result, an addiction can be very easily formed. To respond to the body’s urges for “another hit” reinforces a habit that becomes extremely difficult to break. The combined physical and psychological responses to pornography make it “the crack cocaine of sexual addiction”. Addiction itself develops through progressively dangerous stages: addiction, escalation, desensitization, and then acting out sexually. The dangers of pornography are evident with every stage more destructive than the one before.” “Pornography leaves the impression that sex is unrelated to love, commitment or marriage; and that irresponsible sex has no undesirable penalties. Desensitization of rape as a crime, misconceptions about the popularity of certain sexual practices, and a decrease in the care of female sexuality are additional effects of repeated viewing of pornography.” (http://www.the-intimate-couple.com/dangers-of-pornography.html)
In a society where the respect of women is quickly diminishing, I believe that it is imperative that we take a stand against these violent acts. By allowing these videos to continue generating viewers on the web, our society is supporting the raping and abuse of women.
Related Blogs/Articles:
Porn is Gender Violence
8 Reasons Eminem’s Popularity is a Disaster for Women
Men and Porn
Kristen,
Thank YOU for reporting on this very disturbing trend and use of the internet in helping create even more misogynist males and even rapists!
You said: “…there are very few studies available on the effects of such material. Perhaps this is due to pornography only recently becoming easily accessible through the internet…”
I suspect the reason is that the majority of men, even those highly educated men who would be most like to do a study on the effects that has on young boys and men, still do not consider porn a bad thing that dehumanizes women and encourages male violence against women.
I honestly believe that it will be up to women to do this study. I bet it would show that it does increase male violence against women. If so, then it could be the impetus for women (and those men who love and care about the and their well-being) to demand that porn be outlawed, for the same reasons the public wants to outlaw the sale of assault rifles and uzis to the general public — because they are meant for no other reason than violence and the intent to kill.
Thanks for bring this up. Consider, who would fund a study on the effects of Pornography, the government? The government was the biggest buyer and seller of pornography because they sold it at their military stores. The media companies so they could report on the phenomenon? The media companies are one big monopoly and they have divisions that profit greatly from pornography.
You are also right that the men in charge of societies institutions, government, military, media etc will not see violent pornography as a problem. They will tell you with outrage and certainty that violent depictions of the humiliation of Jewish men or Black men or Gay men would cause more of that in society, but with a straight face they would tell you there is no way depictions of women being brutalized and humiliated or killed would cause more of that in society and you are just being over sensitive. So yes, it will take women to solve this. And if the government took it as seriously as they seem to be taking child pornography it is a problem that could be solved.
can the hate crime bill help here? it includes gender
Women were included in the hate crimes legislation very reluctantly, it was intended for Gay men, Black men and Jewish or other religious minority men. Also what are we going to do with all misogynist men? you can’t build enough prisons to hold them. It would take an effort similar to the “smoking isn’t cool or healthy effort”. I don’t see a societal will for that. Possibly if all women’s groups, liberal, conservative and religious worked together.
What worries me the most, is that young boys are being exposed to such violent material. Pornography used to be naked pictures of girls, now it is the humiliation, violence and degradation of women. I fear they will have unrealistic and twisted expectations of how to establish healthy sexual relationships.
True about the young boys who have this garbage in their face and also I think many little girls who stumble across it are demoralized.
Great article and an important topic to bring up. Whatever your take on pornography, it’s mass consumptive form is way more violent and degrading than it was 20 years ago. Choking women, gang banging women, this is far too ordinary now and yet so many of us are silent about this. If we think fashion magazines are degrading why is it so hard for us to talk about violent porn? Because you will be categorized as anti-sex. There needs to be a pro-sex message that comes out of condemnation of violent porn.
Margaret Atwood wrote a very important piece called “Pornography,” and I teach it to my students every semester. There is a part in it that fascinates me and exemplifies the way we raise our kids based on their gender. She says that because girls are raised on fairy tales and Harlequin Romances and boys are raised on playboy and porn, when girls and boys meet, it is disastrous. The girls never get the romance they expect. And of course, she was focusing her entire piece on violent porn, like the kind you discuss here. I’m tired that all this stuff — violence, rape, misogyny — takes place here and runs rampant. Very good post.
The reason it is so hard for women to discuss violence and pornogrpahy, is because they are too busy trying to be liked by the boys. College boys regularly watch pornography in their dorms with the girls, if they react negatively they might, god forbid, be called a bitch…pornograpy has become mainstream, to criticize it is out of the mainstream.
I’ll have to read Margaret Atwood’s “Pornography,” she is a wonderful writer.
Henrietta is right there needs to be a pro sex argument against porn because anyone who even questions porn is called anti sex.
There has always been violent pornography, I can remember standing in line to buy a Popsicle and seeing behind the counter a display of porn magazines one featuring a woman being run through a meat grinder which I tell myself was fake still not the sort of thing a girl needs to see when trying to buy a treat before bed. Porn magazines were sold in all grocery stores and drug stores.
Speaking of romance books I was stunned at the visceral reaction young men had towards the Twilight phenomenon. They can’t just not go to the movies they have to rant against them. And the argument that Twilight was ridiculous and unbelievable coming from a bunch of hosers who think it is established fact that all female space aliens prance around in lingerie and stilettos was comical. Twilight totally threatened young men.
Here is another thing I don’t get. Why are there so many free pornography sites someone has to pay to maintain them? If the motivation isn’t money what is it? Is it male bonding? Is it degrading women or putting them in their place? Who puts up all these free porn sites?
Essentially the internet has removed porn creation from mens control because women can film themselves and publish those films themselves and some women do this. This has to be making the porn industry very mad. Since film was invented men have been very interested in dictating what gets filmed and who can distribute their films. Because of this you can pretty much say anything that is on film is a male distortion of reality and does not reflect society.
Bes, I think of this as akin to Patty Hearst and the prisoner syndrome that she developed. Women are imprisoned in their roles and then… we become aroused by this degrading prison. Yes, women sit in front of the internet with their boyfriends watching videos and the discomfort that many surely feel is not discussed on any great level because their boyfriends will be angry and call them prudes. Their female friends will call them prudes too. So they watch and eventually violent porn is imprinted on their psyche just as it is for boys and men.
The only way out of this is to give our girls arsenal so that they can feel strong and yes, pro-sex when they talk about these issues with both their female friends and their boyfriends.
I think we need to honestly teach women to think about why they want or need men. Break out the reasons and teach young women to be clear about what they are seeking and whether they are getting it. If you want sex and children then you get that from long or short term relationships with men. But are you seeking love, companionship, support, money, respect, a life partner, romance, status, a life sized Ken doll to drag around to date functions. Since women can now support themselves and own their own property it is time to ask “what am I getting out of this relationship because I am fine if not better off alone”. There are all these stories in Corporate Media about are men becoming unnecessary, well men are making themselves unnecessary. You hear men complain that women only want them for their money, well then it is very likely that is all they are good for do to their own behaviors. Why would a successful woman want to keep some man who is chronically sneaking off to jerk off in front of the computer screen around? It’s like having a anchor chained to your ankle.
Bes, great last post! I have been thinking the same thing lately- men are truly making themselves useless to women. Why would I want someone in my life that I feel only affects me negatively? I would rather be alone! I feel that I would be completely satisfied with a great support network of female friends.
I’m a girl. I watch porn. It doesn’t make me “demoralized”. It actually doesn’t affect my real life, my sex life, or my dating life in any shape, way, or form.
*However*, I think it’s completely different when you’re dealing with impressionable teenage boys and college guys who want to be “tough” or “cool” and are obsessed with trying to look “hypermasculine”. These are the types of guys who imitate Eminem and the likes of him because they think this is manly behavior. When all he is is a little wangster with mommy issues.
These are the types of guys that are prone to take what they see in porn literally instead of understanding these are paid professionals. They try to coerce their girlfriends into performing sex acts they might not be comfortable with and might even develop aggressive tendencies. Yes, I agree it could even lead them to commit rape.
But I don’t think all porn is bad. Some porn is even GEARED TO WOMEN using very handsome actors. The bottom line is, I think it’s important for young men to understand porn is not real life and will never be And women in real life aren’t porn actresses and don’t enjoy being raped. This should be taught in every single public school in every single sex ed class.
Parents should also place strong controls on their computers if they have sons in their teenage or college years that still live at home. Men older than that normally understand the difference between porn and real life romantic relationships.
Leave your Response Want an avatar? Get a gravatar!
Community Room
February 22, 2012 at 11:22 am
February 17, 2012 at 2:39 pm
February 6, 2012 at 4:25 pm
January 30, 2012 at 2:36 pm
January 26, 2012 at 4:38 pm
January 23, 2012 at 1:04 pm
January 15, 2012 at 11:37 am
January 9, 2012 at 6:36 pm
BUILD your NETWORK
Our Network of College Women
Protecting our Teenage Girls
We’re in the Media »
Click to see our latest stories in the media
More Stories »Recent Comments
The Latest from our Blog
Archives
Pioneer Mentors
Blogroll
Find us Online
Subscribe Entries (RSS) | Comments (RSS)
The New Agenda is a 501(c)(4) organization dedicated to improving the lives of women and girls by bringing about systemic change in the media, at the workplace, at school and at home. More...