Rasha’s Story, Part II: Educating Girls in Saudi
February 18, 2011
by Rasha Alduwaisi
|The New Agenda is honored to present Part II of Rasha’s Story, a series about the lives of women and girls in Saudi Arabia, written by a young Saudi mother. You can read more about Rasha in Part I.
We encourage our viewers to leave questions for Rasha for future blog posts – or show support of her extraordinary courage in speaking out.
Saudi Arabia is a very strict Islamic nation, you cannot separate religion from the state, and most Saudis want to
keep it that way. But when only men are given the right to interpret the Quraan and validate hadiths (sayings and acts of the prophet Mohammed) for over a millenium, -despite the fact the Mohammed PBUH said “take half you religion from this woman” referring to his wife Aisha- the scales are bound to tip in favor of men.
To understand the Saudi society you have to know two things. Saudi is run by men, and the biggest fear of any Saudi man is that “his women” would have sexual affairs outside of marriage.!!! (though I doubt that any Saudi man will ever admit to this or say it out loud). This pretty much depicts how everything is done in Saudi. It is why we segregate genders in almost all public places. It is why we don’t allow women to travel on their own. It is why men want their women to cover up (though they convince them it’s for their own good so that men would not objectify them). This mindset shaped the laws of the country to make it easier for men to “control” their women.
When official schools were opened in Saudi Arabia, they were only for boys for a while. My mom was just remembering this a few days ago. She was among the first girls to go to school here about 50 years ago. She told me about how the public was against girls education and the number one reason was that they feared that girls would learn to write love letters!
Many years later, girls are doing a lot better in school than boys: They have higher GPAs and higher acceptance and graduation rates from Universities.
In Saudi, genders are separated in schools starting from first grade. Recently, Noura al-Fayez, the vice minister for women’s education, pushed to mix boys with girls (in girls schools) to be taught be women untill the third grade. though this passed, it faced a lot of criticism from the public. People accused Al-Fayez of trying to westernize our education system and that this was just a step to merge boys and girls in all schools.
Girls are made to wear uniforms (usually gray or navy blue) that cover their whole bodies. (see attached picture). then starting from fourth grade they are made to wear a abayah (the black cloth) on top of this uniform and cover their faces when outside the school’s grounds. Girls’ schools are surrounded by tall thick wall, with a gate and a guard to make sure non of the girls leave before the end of school, or leave with someone other then their male guardian (or the driver !!!!)..
There are a lot of rules in school: It is not allowed for female students to wear accessories or cosmetics (hair accessories should not be colorful). It is not allowed for students to bring ANYTHING other than school books and pens and such. The school officials have the right to hold unannounced personal searches. and here’s how it usually happens. a group of teachers or administrators, barge in a classroom, mid-lesson, and ask all the students to move away from their desks. then they start searching the desks and bags (Saudi schools don’t provide lockers). No they’re not looking for drugs!! they confiscate any non-curricular books, perfumes, lotions, hair brushes and music CDs and other such items.
Girls, unlike boys, are not allowed to practice any sports in school. This issue has been causing endless debates for may years now! and has been getting more attention lately with the rise of obesity among girls in the country. The opposers argue that it’s a step towards starting soccer teams to compete against boys in mixed games!! Some argue that it will increase homosexuality because girls will be changing in front of each-other!! and some took it as far as to insist that sports will cost girls their virginity!! (Losing virginity before marriage is HUGE!!!!) …I know, all this must sound to you like it’s from the dark ages.
Before I end this chapter about education. The worst part of it all, is that a girl’s male guardian can withdraw her from school, or college, at any moment if he wishes to, without questions asked or consequences to face.
Thank you for sharing with us and for your courage. No, it doesn’t sound like the dark ages to me because those are common themes here in the US in our very recent past. My mother could not ride a bicycle or play sports because it was believed she would lose her virginity in an accident. When I was in school we were still worried that girls had unique biology that could be easily damaged if physical education or sports were too rigorous. Today things are much different and my children hardly believe the stories I tell about the “olden” days. Even so, we have not yet achieved actual equality. There is still huge discrimination in girls sports and they are poorly funded. Girls encounter a lot of challenges in math and science, too, they have to work twice as hard for half the recognition and they suffer social consequences. It’s hard to be socially accepted by your peers and smart about math and science at the same time.
What strikes me Rasha is how much of your culture is driven by men’s insecurity. Even down to girls being excluded from sports because in part they could become lesbians and therefore not be interested in men. And women and girls can’t do anything to make themselves more outwardly attractive because, again, it’s a threat to the man that they are with (or daughter of) that others might find them attractive.
Our culture is so busy doing the polar opposite- sexualizing our girls – it’s hard to wrap my head around!
That’s what I noticed as well, Amy and Rasha: man’s insecurity. I always thought too that men in Muslim countries had the girls and women concealed so that they would not be tempted by the female flesh. A danger established by Eve in her tempting Adam with the apple –which symbolized sexual awareness. But the men in the US have sexualized Women’s bodies and this too is out of insecurity. They need women to be objects of their desires so that they can feel powerful. When a woman does not use her sexuality for his interests, she is useless to him. The problem in our society is that women subscribe to it thinking that using their sexuality to get ahead yields them power — it doesn’t. It just makes them slaves to men’s needs. In Rasha’s world, women are beaten and controlledto hide their femininity. But it’s all for men’s interests. Thank you, Rasha.
I think most patriarchal cultures are driven by a desire to maximise sexual (and reproductive) access to women. This basically leads to a view of women as sex objects, as commodities to be used for sex and reproduction. In traditional, religious societies, women are private commodities to be jealously guarded from other men (through strict segregation and denial of freedom to women), and in western, more secular societies, women are public property to be shared among men (through porn and prostitution). In neither case are women treated as fully human, existing for themselves, to live their own lives the way they want to.
Rasha,
As I read your story now, I just was reading about the history of women’s education for my Women & Public Policy class. The common denominator here is the power men have over our educational choices (or lack thereof).
It is fascinating to me the control that men have over sexuality and sex in your culture. In a very different way than we see here in the US. We have much objectification here, which is horrible, but in your country there is this mega control over a woman’s sexuality, supposedly for her protection, but really due to a man’s ego? I know this post was on education, but it really leads me to wonder what the sexual culture is like in your country as well. Perhaps in a future segment…
Thanks again for sharing this glimpse of your world with us.
Good point Denise – education is central to freedom in many ways…education provides economic freedom which ultimately provides freedom generally in many ways.
Rasha,
How much is the interaction of women when men Aren’t around regulated and controlled? If there is a concern that women will become lesbians from changing in front of each other, are they restricted in touching each other, or seeing each other’s faces? It’s interesting, because in many cultures that have required women to be segregated from men, they have still had considerable freedom within women’s spaces, when they were solely in the company of women. Is that the case for women in Saudi? Or are they denied even that?
Sandra.
Dear Yttik,
women have it harder then men all over the world, it just varies in severity i guess. I can understand the reason why men were superior ages ago when physical strength was needed to survive, but in this day and age, why is it still going on?
Dear Amy,
you just put your finger on it! we are defiantly driven by men’s insecurities. and as long as only men are the decision makers in the country, women will stay under their thumbs and nothing will ever change.
Dear Marina,
Although the Islamic version of the Adam and Eve story is slightly different, we do not believe that Eve tempted Adam but that they were both tempted by Satan, yet we also came to a point in life where the women is blamed, and punished in advance, for the man’s inability to control his desires.
Dear Kali,
I totally agree with all you said, but I believe the difference is that in western, and more secular cultures a woman has a choice. she decides on how to dress and behave and can avoid being perceived as “public property”.. the same cannot be said about women is SA where they are MADE to dress and look and behave a certain way, and cannot escape being perceived as private commodities for sex and reproduction.
Again I can’t thank you all enough, especially Amy.
Your words and support mean a lot and give me the incentive to keep going.
I have lived in Dubai, UAE, for 18 years, and have traveled to Saudi Arabia twice in the last five years.
On my second visit, I made a short video just before leaving to the airport. I prefaced it with this proviso:
“It’s not my place to judge others. Neither is it to suggest that one way is better than another. We should all have the right as individuals, as well as nations, to follow our chosen paths.
Although I’ve felt uncomfortable during my visits to The Kingdom, I’ve also met wonderfully warm, welcoming and progressive Saudi men and women who love their country, and take great pride in its achievements – of which there are many.”
The video is at this link:
http://www.amazingwomenrock.co.....saudi.html
The video produced a strong reaction amongst the blogging community in Dubai, and resulted in threats to my personal safety.
Good for you for sharing your thoughts and experiences about your life. Thanks very much.
Susan
Dubai, United Arab Emirates
hi Denise, Can you be more specific about what you mean by sexual culture? and I will do my best to answer your that in a future post
Dear Amy, I totally agree that an education is the key to economic freedom, and that’s why I strongly believe that it should be mandatory up to high school, and anything after that should be a personal choice that is not tied to ANYONE’S permission.
Dear Susan,
what saddens me the most is how much we’re lagging behind the other countries of the gulf, which not so long ago were our equals, if not worse (except for Kuwait) when it comes to human rights in general. but in recent years they realized how fast the whole world is moving and worked on coping and bettering themselves. and look at Dubai and Qatar now..none of them is perfect yet (who is in the world) but they’re still working on it, unlike things here in Saudi where unfortunately a large number of the population simply believes that we “the saudis” are the only ones who truly understand Islam , and that THIS is how it’s supposed to be and thus strongly oppose any change.
I love what you said about how we all should have the right to follow our chosen paths. a very simple right, once taken, what left is not worth a lot.
and by the way I read your article and watched the video, and found nothing that would provoke such reactions as you mentioned. you listed things in a matter-of-fact way, and very respectfully at that.
Thanks Rasha
Rasha, just stumbled across this blog which you might find interesting if you haven’t seen it already:
http://saudiwoman.wordpress.com/
Thanks Susan,
I actually have Saudiwoman’s blog in my toolbar
Her name is Eman Alnajfan, and she’s brilliant. I’m also following her on twitter
Dear Rasha – Thank you so much for sharing – i am deeply touched and i have an impression about how it
– wouldn t it be beautiful to come together from all streams sharing our believes and honour each other for who we truely are 
feels to be a woman – or a little girl there in your
countrey.
It is so important that we – WOMEN ALL OVER THE WORLD CONNECT – COME TOGETHER – AND SHARE –
Thank you – I would feel like a prisoner there – and i also ask myself how does it come that men feel so insecure – and how can the idea of control over the feminine become such strong reality –
Also my European society – is in a way oldfashioned -
there is much change on the outside – but one the inside it is still developing
I have been working in Psychiatry and in my oppinion
every sexual “sickness” also the fact of being attracted by little girls or boys is coming out of the feeling – being small or being controlled yourself –
In Europe at the moment people are talking much about priests having abused little boys over the last hundreds of years – …..
If i look at the little girls being covered all over -
is it the fear of the men about themselves? Are these girls comfortable in a countrey that is hot most of the time – how does it feel to be not able to move -what kind of image does it create on the inside -
Yes in our world girls are sexualised and like on the other side of the coin they are total hidden – as if their body is sinful –
Children are innocent and beautiful if they are allowe to move and to be safe inside a society – safe and free – it is high art to create a safe and free society for our children –
all over the world – Inside of my heart i feel that humanity is one family – we share one home – planet earth –
The katholic church was controlling the lives of people for the last 2000 years in our world here -
I believe in a God and a Goddess who dont want their children to be prisoners – but want their children to rise –
Here in europe we are still digesting what
the Institution of the Katholic Church did to our souls – wise women have been burned in the fire only one hundred years ago in europe –
What did Institutions do to the feminine all over the world ? RE – ligion – in the meaning of the word means to be reconnected – to the source where we all came from – but Religion as an institution was made to control people – control them over fear –
Inside our heart we are all one – if we are soulful human beings living from the heart we dont need to control others –
Dear Rasha i would like to drink a cup of tea with you one day face to face
Hope you have a good day – greetings from the cold mountains of Europe -
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