Whore, Slut, Bitch & Cunt: Is it Okay to Use These Words?
October 16, 2010
by Henrietta
|The opinions expressed herein are those of the author, and not necessarily those of The New Agenda.
So we all know now that (former) Governor Jerry Brown does not think much of calling a woman a whore. His hasty apology during the most recent debate reeked of insincerity as he went on to excuse his campaign by oddly reminding us that the sexist slur was said behind closed doors. Oh, and being called a “whore” is nothing compared to being called a “nigger,” Brown suggested to the women of California.
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Really?
Perhaps (former) Governor Brown could give us a seminar in racist and sexist terminology. Would calling someone a “chink” be as equally offensive as calling someone a “nigger”? How about “fag” or “towel head” or “kike”? Which is worse? Could we scale these bigoted slurs from least offensive to most offensive? Would it be meaningful to do so? And then after considering all of this, what about the sexist slurs: ”whore”, “slut”, “bitch” and “cunt”?
Well I’m not sure what Jerry would say but I do know that many progressives would (rightly) go off the deep end if they were to ever here anyone utter the words “nigger”, “chink” “fag”, “towel head” or “kike.” But not so with the words “whore”, “slut” and “bitch.” (On occasion they say they dislike the word “cunt” because it just sounds more serious.) Whatever.
But perhaps we all should consider this little piece of information that I recently learned in an article at Femisex:
“ Slut is the preferred word of choice rapists yell at their victims. (Bitch and whore are right up there!)”
Hear that, Jerry Brown and your accolades? You excuse the use of “whore” against Whitman because you say that women also use the word. You say it is a metaphor and you say it is often used against men too (who are thus denigrated as being as lowly as a female prostitute). But we know the term is loaded with hatred toward women and it is a term widely used against women during sexual assault.
Sexist slurs matter and they matter as much as racist and xenophobic slurs. The author of the Femisex article goes on to describe the implications sexist slurs can have on women and girls:
“Language matters. Think of all the women who have been raped, who been called whore and slut and bitch, who then turn on the TV and hear such language. No one is immune: senators, governors, the girl next door—all are openly mocked and disrespected on national TV, just without the actual rape to go along with it. Think of how it must feel to the woman who was raped to the tune of Slut/whore/bitch…think how it must feel to her to hear delighted peels of laughter from the audience when such terms are thrown at women.
Then think about the women who yelled the n word at those girls going to school—or trying to, as segregation was ended. You know the pictures, you’ve seen them. Faces (white faces) twisted in hate. Then..
Think about what it would mean to those black women, now grown, to hear society laughing as we belittled our black public figures as nothing more than ni%%#rs. Language matters.”
And this is what is missing in many liberal and progressive circuits right now – there is no understanding and limited thought with regard to what denigrates women. And by women I mean all of us: mothers, daughters, sisters, friends. Politicians on the left. Politicians on the right. Celebrities. The women you work with that you like. The women you work with that you don’t like. Young girls. Teen girls. College graduates. Middle-aged women and elderly women. All of us. (Yes, I know that conservative men don’t get it also but my point here is that progressives aren’t REALLY progressive – not if they don’t fully consider women).
And I DO know this. Black Americans would never vote for a politician that called one of their own a nigger. Never. Because Black Americans understand how important respect is for self-preservation. Policy matters and Black Americans may come to many different conclusions in regard to what policies they support. But the importance of respect is non-negotiable and it is a lesson that Black Americans have across the board learned very well. It is a lesson that women would do well to learn themselves.
I’ve yet to hear a conservative use vitriol even close to what a left wing liberal hands out.
I think both sides are equally culpable but that men on the left get a free pass from the left and sadly, many “women’s” (in quotes) groups.
Henrietta,
Brilliant argument in making the case that “whore” is every bit as offensive as “nigger”. If you were a lawyer arguing this case, IMO, you would win hands down.
You deftly show just how one-sided and still, sadly, acceptable discrimination, oppression and violence against still is in a country that should have erradicated it about the time they wrote “all men are created equal…”
The disconnect men automatically have toward women is the core reason for all the problems not only women face, but the world, in general. How men cannot see this total and indefensible mindset against, in reality, their own mothers, daughters, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, and any woman who has nurtured and loved them unconditionally in a world filled with conditions, is beyond me. It is also why I am absolutely convinced that women MUST stop attacking each other, no matter what their political affiliation or otherwise, and come together, as Sarah Palin suggests as “momma grizzlies” to protect the future of our children.
What has been lost in this call to arms by Palin is that by women uniting to save our children’s future, we will be saving ALL of us!
Thanks for this article, it articulates my feelings. I think Progressives act far more bigoted against women, they seem to feel smirky contemptuous misogyny is an enjoyable sport. I am not saying Republican men don’t do it but they have manners and I have never seen Republican women do the progressive woman thing where they blurt out the expected misogyny or defense of it and then look to their male masters for that pat on the head they know is coming. After the 2008 Primary attacks on Hillary and then General election attacks on Palin all restraint has been off of Progressives.
I also don’t get the (untrue) point Dems seem to want to make that they are no worse than Republican men. I have greatly cut back my votes for Dems and all donations to them because of their treatment of women who run for office. I also feel the do nothing Whitehouse commission on women and girls was cynical and the Dems sold out reproductive rights in the health care bill. That means I can vote for Republicans, I can not vote at all or I can vote for Independents. The Dems need to worry about getting me to vote for them not talk to me about my other options. But I guess Dems consider trying to appeal to women voters too degrading for them.
Brava! So well said, Henrietta. We have to demand it from every quarter and then hold them accountable when they refuse to give it.
I hope it won’t be long before liberal and progressive women begin to put the kibosh on sexism within their own ranks. I’m not holding my breath waiting, though.
Great Article. I had a friend that worked at a Rape Crisis Center, and she told me that this terms are typically used by rapists to dehumanize women. So, in my mind Gov. Moonbeam is allying himself with rapists.
I am not sure how many of you read the Uppity Woman blog, but she had an article about how one of the fraternities (DKE) marched near female freshmen housing at Yale chanting and glorifying rape. I am sure that the administration at Yale has done nothing because after all, boys will be boys. It would be nice if people raised hell about this.
AnnE – we are aware of the Yale incident. We’ve asked the head of a women’s group on Yale campus to write about it for our blog. If she cannot, someone in our group will do so.
of course; nothing that happens to a woman could be anywhere near what happens to a male. Nigger hurts feelings; Whore doesn’t, or it does hurt feelings but their not reeeeaaaaaallll ones like the menz.
Please consider that some of the biggest names in the conservative women’s blogosphere are enablers of the sexism – often completely focused on how the subject of the attacks has reacted than who did the attacking and why they did it (particularly in the case of VA-1 candidate, Krystal Ball but consider Will Folks’ attacks on Nikki Haley re: affair allegations):
Andrew Breitbart just named a woman to editor in chief role at Big Journalism and there is already a slew of enabling posts but here’s the one that touches direclty on the “whore” word issue:
http://bigjournalism.com/dloes.....ry-sexism/
http://althouse.blogspot.com/2.....d-who.html
http://rightwingnews.com/2010/.....-politics/
Here’s an example of what the conservative male bloggers do with it:
http://theothermccain.com/2010.....se-photos/
And here’s a libertarian blog with a post by a male who has three children according to his bio and here’s what he writes:
http://reason.com/blog/2010/10.....elled-crys
While there are some on the left too, most notably Joan Walsh at Salon.com, in general, there also have been fabulous posts that indicate that women on the left “get it.” I’ve not yet found anything on the conservative side that stands firmly and universally against the sexist political attacks but that does not mean that there aren’t any
Here’s Walsh:
http://www.salon.com/news/opin.....he_n_word/
And here are some excellent posts about what the problem really is:
http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/.....candidacy/
http://www.thefrisky.com/post/.....f=obinsite
http://thestir.cafemom.com/in_.....eg_whitman
As I write in this post below, we don’t have to vote for women every single time, but we should be uniformly calling out politically motivated attacks that deploy sexism as a way of keeping women from succeeding:
http://womenandpolitics.org/ar.....itics/3609
I believe the Name It. Change It. project is an excellent way for women of all political persuasions to flag the attacks motivated by a desire for people to apply negative gender-driven stereotypes to people or candidates that the attacker wants to bring down.
And here’s a VERY interesting twist on this: photos of a young guy who is running for office were just “release” showing him in duckie pajamas with a truly scantily clad women who is very unlikely to be his wife. So – is it a sexist attack, or more a morality based one? And is it any more permissible?
The thing we do know: the person/people responsible for publicizing the photos want to take the candidate down. And we really need to be focusing on THOSE people, IMO.
Thanks for broaching this issue. It’s so critical we find common ground on it.
With due respect Jill, Joan Walsh has zero credibility. She didn’t understand what sexism was when Hillary ran, nor apparently does she to this day. I’m horrified that she doesn’t find ‘whore’ offensive.
P.S.: Since you are extolling Name It, Change It far and wide; perhaps you should be extolling The New Agenda! We are actually speaking out for women of both parties – not giving it lip service. Our young org has been responsible for more apologies and media around sexism than any other organization, thank you. Check our media section.
Respectfully,
In case anyone missed it, Real Clear Politics has now moved CA Governor from “leaning Democrat” to “toss up.”
No need for the due repsect re: Walsh – I disagree with that piece 100%.
Amy your post about Meg Whitman appears on her web page. Go TNA
Tammy Bruce has a article up on Fox News
http://www.foxnews.com/opinion.....ellasalma/
http://blog.seattlepi.com/davi.....224944.asp
Here is a link to a “Progressive” cartoonist from Seattle drawing about this topic. His take on it is predictable for a Democrat male but the comments section is interesting and someone who sounds like a threatened male “Progressive” mentions Amy and New Agenda in his comment.
I mention TNA when it seems appropriate and you know that I have. Finding a community that resonates for someone and a sense that action will change behavior is very important and it’s great that there are so many choices for those who want to be part of a group or larger organization. I’ve actually never really joined any women’s groups, to be honest though I suppose something might be slipping my mind, but I’m pretty sure I never have – not the biggies or anything more local or small. It’s really not my style to tell people to “join” – I wrote about what a big issue I had with that appeal when used by the Obama campaign in the winter of 2008.
Nameitchangeit to me is not about an organization (it’s a collaboration from what i understand) but rather about the use of a hashtag that helps collectively identify the range of sexist expression that’s out there – by using that hashtag will we see the prevalence that so many want to suggest isn’t there or should just be ignored. So I’d say it’s an action plan to corral sexism, not something on par with TNA at all.
You do a great job of getting visibility for TNA.
Bruce,
That cartoon was not as interesting as finding Expatmom in the comment section! Who0t out to Expatmom! ‘Sup girlfriend?!
I get a wonderful feeling when I see Hillary’s Army defending against sexism in all of the dark corners of the Liberal Dude Nation.
–Optix
I’ve already voted, and Jerry lost my respect, therefore he lost my vote. This man has been going through the revolving doors for over 40 years, and he knows better, for pete sake’s he couldn’t even hang up the phone properly.
He’s not listening, he’s not being responsible, and he’s not showing leadership.
Our children, our grandchildren are learning by interacting with tv, with radio, and on the internet
that it is okay, it is not okay and we need to protect them from this hurt. As can be seen, they are resorting to bullying, and bashing, and more and more of them are so depressed they are giving up on living at all. We need to stop the hate, and start the loving.
Fandam–tastik Henrietta !!
This issues needs to be plied mercilessly until women believe themselves as worthy of respect by all quarters as other groups.
Thanks for keeping this issue on the table. And so great to see the success of the New Agenda!!!!!!!!!!!! Onward.
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