Are Little Boys Blue?
May 14, 2010
by Alison
|And so much did Jonathan want to play with the baby dolls, miniature strollers, toy vacuum cleaners and kitchenette sets that Jonathan’s father had to repeat his condemnation several times.
“What did I say, Jonathan? Those are girl’s toys! Stay away from that area.”
Now to be clear, I am not one to believe that boys and girls are identically predisposed. I’ve noticed that many little boys tend to be fast and powerful and many little girls tend to be incredibly verbal. But one thing that I have discovered as the mom of a young one is that little girls love cars and choo choos (along with baby dolls and fairy wands) and little boys love baby dolls (as well as fast cars and dump trucks).
In my playgroups I often see the little boys grab the baby dolls from the girls and then proceed to hug them tenderly, feed them a bottle and tuck them into the play crib for a nap.
How wonderful, I catch myself thinking. They will make good fathers! And how good and appropriate that they should act out such a nurturing role.
I have also noticed that little boys do indeed love kitchenette sets and enjoy setting a table with mini plastic plates filled with wooden chicken drumsticks and play cookies. Like girls, they are mimicking what they see in their everyday life. And this is certainly as appropriate for boys as for girls!
I must congratulate the mom’s in my playgroup. Not one has ever said anything negative when their sons pick up and play with a baby doll. In fact they encourage and applaud such behavior.
Still, I wonder if we unwittingly fall into the classic roles when we buy toys for our children. My daughter has a few toy cars and trucks but not nearly as many as the boys. And although my friends’ sons enjoy playing with baby dolls, rarely do I meet a little boy who has a baby doll of his own.
Yes, the gender conditioning starts early, doesn’t it? Perhaps we need to check ourselves as parents if we are to allow our kids to grow up to express themselves fully through play. I think this means that the next gift I bring for a little boy just might be a toy vacuum cleaner and the next time I find a great yard sale filled with kid’s toys, my daughter and I will be checking out the Hot Wheels. This can only mean equal fun for everyone, don’t you think?
Yes I think that what children are given to play with or wear is very important in terms of how they process the world around them. My daughter was born into a house full of blocks and marble runs and trucks and Nerf weaponry because our first kid was a boy. She accepted those toys are “normal” but I noticed some of her girlfriends didn’t really relate to those toys too well because of course if they were first born that is not what adults would have bought for them.
My son never did well with dolls or domestic toys but he really wanted to wear pink and lavender and red nail polish which he said was blood on his toes. I have to admit it killed me to see him in pink. My bad!
Alison, great that you bring the topic up. when my daughter was small I never dressed in pink, neutral colors and hairs were not very long. I felt that the little pink girls receive much less tolerance for their activity when you walk around shops, when they are clumsy or running or talking loud. so the quest for wearing pink and lavender occurred a few years later in pre-school. and I am glad that I gave her that extra space for activity.
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