The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and not necessarily those of The New Agenda.

When I was in high school, in the torrid 1960′s, it was Germaine Greer and Gloria Steinem. Gloria’s followers tended to become active in political organizations while Germaine’s followers headed out in search of adventure. Off I went. I bummed around Europe, got married and divorced and bumped smack into the sexism of the early 70′s.

I was abused by a then fashionable “encounter group” and had a lot of problems with “the blond” stereotype that was so prevalent in Southern California back then. Radical Feminists were the only ones who would really help you with these type of problems. At first, it was wonderful. I cut off my blond hair, ditched my high heels and started exploring my long suppressed bisexualty. I learned a lot but unfortunately, there was a lot of pressure to live as a lesbian and tow a certain political line in this particular group. I still wanted to have a baby, which for me required a man and so I was off again, this time to join the Marxists.

The Marxists too were very exciting. I added a lot of skills to what I had learned about political organizing in the Women’s Center. It was great fun to be seen on television driving the KKK out of public parks and be courted as a hero by Party members. I soon found another husband and had my baby. Unfortunately, the sexism of the male Left hadn’t gone away in my absence and so after my next divorce, I headed back to school.

The Feminists had come a long way while I was with the Marxists. They had great power in academia and didn’t always weld in wisely. I decided to avoid all political entanglements until I got my degree. I made it till the last semester and then let myself be drawn into a controversy. It was a terrible mistake. After 25 years of feeling like I was caught in the middle of sexist men and man hating women, I had a nervous breakdown. It was not my first and I have been recovering from it for the last thirteen years.

For awhile I flirted with Christina Hoff Sommers and the Conservatives. I’m a very flamboyant artist though and still bisexual so I never really fit in with them. Things got really bad. I was homeless several times and got so broke that I actually took political jobs for money, something I never would have dreamed of in my heyday.

On one of these jobs I met some of the national leadership of NOW. I found myself in the supremely ironic position of sitting in the back room of a political campaign mulling over the “affairs” that they were not supposed to know about while they had a conference with my boss in the front room. Many of them were very nice to me. It was obvious that I had once been one of them and now I no longer was. Some were really saddened by it. None of us wanted to talk about the reasons why.

And so, I decided to retire and do my art. I occasionally searched for “post feminist” on the Net since that was what I now considered myself. It was eleven years before I started to get meaningful hits. Then one day, I found the New Agenda and started an email correspondence with Amy. It took me about two seconds to decide to become involved again. My little sister (now 51) was astounded that I would do it after all I’ve been through.

There is a good reason though. I’m still a Feminist even though I call myself Post. I still believe that Feminism is best hope for humanity, both women and men. For me, Patriarchy, with all its warlike characteristics,  became obsolete the day we got the atomic bomb. We need a peaceful world, in harmony with nature. Ultimately, I think Feminism will lead us to such a world.

I am especially excited about sharing some of the skills I learned in other groups with other women. For instance, I think the Marxist tactic of Self Criticism would serve women very well who are trying to find a new direction forward for Feminism. We need to constantly assess what we’re doing, where we’re headed and whether we are being successful. If we are going practice successful Self Criticism we also need civility. Woman are just too hard on each other. Criticism has to be constructive to be effective. I also think some of the ideals of Non-Violence would help us to navigate the down and dirty real world that we have to deal with in order to bring about change.

Am I an insane optimist? Maybe, but it’s certainly better than giving up hope and taking political jobs for money. It’s going to take a lot of work but I think we’re going to make it. I’m just waiting for the day that I run into those NOW members and they thank me for my courage in standing up to them. I never thought such a thing was even within the realm of possibility. I’m really grateful  to the New Agenda for giving me and everyone, a second chance to make our dreams come true.