Why Help At Risk Girls and Young Women
September 8, 2009
by Helen McCombs
|The opinions expressed herein are those of the author and not necessarily those of The New Agenda.
I live in what we call “the hood.” In our neighborhood there isn’t much to celebrate: we have a high murder rate and the New York Times called our neighborhood one of the worst places to live in the US. The young people and kids often have to cross gang territories as they go to school and back, or go to one of the convenience stores in the area.
The kids do see people with nice cars, nice clothes, and lots of money; but these are the property of gang bangers and drug dealers. This has an effect on both boys and girls who want more material things. Kids usually start joining the gangs at the age of 11 and by the time they are 12 they are usually selling drugs.
Life on the streets is hard and these children often become adults long before their time. They have money and power but there is also a risk of death and life in prison. What these girls need are mentors: both people who have lived the lives they lived or who are successful in legitimate ways. This needs to happen when girls are younger than age 10.
These little girls are often told by teachers and others that they are nothing. They may have parents who are hooked on drugs. They may see the “gangsta” life as the way out of a bad situation. The gangs and drug dealers offer a lot of fast cash.
At risk girls need mentoring and they need to learn that education is the best way out of their situation. At risk girls do not even see a high school diploma in their future let alone college. These girls often see themselves stuck in the game. We need to change their mindset and teach them the truth which is just because your in the ghetto doesn’t mean you can’t grow.
I know all about at risk girls because I am one. I didn’t get off the streets until I was 27 years old I was very lucky I didn’t end up dead or in prison: I was headed for both. I often wonder what my life would have been like if I had been mentored. Now I talk to girls who are if they aren’t stuck in the game have the potential.
All girls need the opportunity to reach their full potential in life and mentoring a young girl from the ghetto can be very educational for mentor as well as for the girl.
Helen,
Thank you for writing this. I think about some of the things you bring up. I used to work in at-risk high schools. My students and a too high percentage of the school had skills far below the grade level. There were aggressive students (those who threatened and doled out violence) but mostly I saw students just trying to get through the day without being targeted themselves.
I used to always wonder what school was like in middle school and elementary school for these students. How come their skills were below grade level when they reached me? How come so many of my students have scars? They would show me their scars – on their stomach, on their arms – what looked like little knife wounds.
You wrote: “These little girls are often told by teachers and others that they are nothing.”
I am surprised by this and then again, I’m not surprised. One middle school teacher I know told me her students told her they were beaten in elementary school.
Question: how do we get these mentors? And how do we make positive mentoring consistent? I saw a lot of good teaching going on in the at-risk schools that I worked at but mostly I saw a lot of teachers who were not honest with themselves about the challenges and this reflected their teaching. I also saw a lot of teachers who had given up and just went through the motion of teaching, if that.
I’m really glad you wrote this. I’m so much more interested in these type of women than I am in women doctors and lawyers. It’s important to realize that women come from all sorts of situations and have all sorts of different problems. You can’t generalize much. And just because women were formally expected to care for other doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. Men should do it too.
Helen,
Thank you for writing about your perspective about the importance of women mentors. I agree with you about the crucial role mentors can play in the lives of at risk girls. Here is an article I wrote earlier this year about a study on mentoring. http://blog-aauw.org/2009/06/1.....e-mentors/. One program that’s making a difference in Milwaukee, Wisconsin is the Sisters Empowering Sisters program. Here is a link profiling the program http://blog-aauw.org/2009/09/2.....g-sisters/.
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