In celebration of The New Agenda’s one-year anniversary, I’ve been reflecting on the moments that have been most meaningful to me.  One that stands out happened in the hotel ladies’ room just before our forum on Violence Against Women. 

I had finished and was on my way out, when at the last minute I lifted one foot to pull up my knee-high hose.  Just then, the door swung open and another woman tried to enter.  Since I was standing on one foot, I couldn’t gracefully step aside.  So to break the awkwardness, I said, “Don’t you hate how you never know that the elastic in your knee-highs is shot until you’re already wearing them and they keep drooping down?” 

Now, I’ve had many such conversations in ladies’ rooms.  It’s partly because I’m from the South, where it’s culturally acceptable to strike up a chat with perfect strangers. But it’s also because I spent my career attending tradeshows and conferences in the laser, semiconductor, robotics, and factory automation fields.  When I was working these events (a decade and more ago now), women were still a rarity.  There was never pressure to rush in the ladies’ room, because there was never a line.

Back then, the other people in the ladies’ room were mostly “booth babes,” models hired to attract men into display booths.  I, on the other hand, attended the shows to talk technology with the engineers, and would never have been confused with a beauty.  In some ways, we ladies didn’t have a lot in common.  But in other ways, we shared much.  We shared being females just trying to earn a living however we could.  We shared being a minority among a majority that held a dominant, even vaguely threatening position.  And we shared the experience that the ladies’ room was a haven where we would take a deep breath before heading back out into the world where business was conducted.

But this time was different. The lady whose path I blocked while I pulled up my knee highs turned out to be there to attend the forum, and introduced herself as a prominent blogger whose work I knew.  And it turned out that she had seen the videos I’d made.  And then something happened that had never happened to me before.  Right there in the middle of the ladies room, we exchanged business cards.

I’ve exchanged business cards a hundred thousand times, but I’d never done it in the ladies’ room.  When I told the story to my husband, I cried.  It is so moving to me, after a career spent in a rather lonely minority position, to be working hand in hand with women (as well as men), and to be working together to benefit other women.  Please join us for the experience of a lifetime.