Comments on: Not too hot, Not too cold….

By: I am Piper Smith…You are Piper Smith…. : The New Agenda

I am Piper Smith…You are Piper Smith…. : The New Agenda — Fri, 29 May 2009 21:31:20 +0000

[...] heard me preaching about unity on our blog here and here. And I’m going to keep going and try to win over women and like minded men one by [...]

By: Why we should EVEN have Nancy Pelosi’s back… : The New Agenda

Why we should EVEN have Nancy Pelosi’s back… : The New Agenda — Wed, 27 May 2009 23:32:41 +0000

[...] to start by finding a better way to treat one another. As I wrote earlier this month in my piece Not too Hot, Not too Cold, women are so darn hard on other women. Give it a rest sisters. None of us are perfect – either [...]

By: Janis

Janis — Mon, 18 May 2009 19:50:46 +0000

AFAIC, I don’t have to LIKE a woman. I just have to vote for her in 100% of the cases, and if some hyperdefensive male who fears not being in charge of 99% of the planet whines at me over it, tough crap. If some little female nincompoop who thinks she’s being innovative and edgy accuses me of “reverse sexism” over it, too damn bad. Grow up, infant, and get out of my face. And by the way, I’ll vote for you if you run for office, so STFU.

I can’t stomach Brazil-zebub. I think she’s a pox on the face of the Earth. And I’ll join in on Botox Pelosi any chance I get. But if they run, I vote for them. I don’t have to be a woman’s, like, total BFF for life. We don’t have to tell one another our Fantasy Boyfriend Secrets, and we don’t have to want to do one another’s makeup and freaking colors and shoo for shoes together.

The way I think about it is, I don’t have to like the b*tch, I just have to vote for her. Which I will do in every single instance. Case closed. And anyone who has a problem with that can go pound sand.

By: Dulcy

Dulcy — Fri, 15 May 2009 18:42:14 +0000

Okay, I’m trying here, but what about women like Pelosi and Brazile, and the other women who stood by and helped crucify women candidates?
Don’t mean to be off-topic here, and I know what’s going on when the guys start in on Pelosi and botox, but this is not easy.
It’s a worthwhile post, and thank you.

By: Bes

Bes — Thu, 14 May 2009 00:21:11 +0000

Well said. A diversity of female opinions is needed. All things can be discussed. Political correct censorship of discussion has held women back. We don’t need male approval and although I love men we don’t need them to tell us what we are or what we think or need.

By: Amy Siskind

Amy Siskind — Wed, 13 May 2009 21:45:01 +0000

Adrienne – bravo to mentoring in the workplace as well. Women start out in most industries 50/50, but we don’t move up because we don’t have the system in place to support each other.

I like yourself was the beneficiary of wonderful mentors -and helped many women up the ladder myself. I had one bad experience – an early manager who tried to get me fired in my early 20s. My old boss had ranked me top of the class and when she left for London – a woman Deborah Malden took her place – Deborah thought I was still loyal to my old boss so did everything she could to get me fired…so I have seen the dark side too.

By: Amy Siskind

Amy Siskind — Wed, 13 May 2009 21:41:31 +0000

samanthasmom,

Yes, there are always exceptions to the rule. We just leave the door open for them to come join us at a later time. It’s never nirvana – yes there were some who I spent less time with. But the majority were supportive and I swear to you when this in the environment, women relearn behaviors because caddiness, etc. is frowned on.

If we made the acceptable norm to support one another, then women would gravitate towards that over time I believe.

I just think most have never been in a position where they know what this all would look like – so they don’t believe that it can happen.

By: Adrienne in CA

Adrienne in CA — Wed, 13 May 2009 21:30:08 +0000

Applause for giving women the benefit of the doubt. Hit pieces like that bullying article wouldn’t play if we’d refuse to be baited into blaming each other for a patriarchal system that works to keep women at each others throats. We can each become sensitive to divisive and manipulative “reporting,” turning a skeptical eye to sensational claims, and choosing to ignore them, rather than give them more attention than deserved. We can refuse to condemn our sisters when the gossip mongers swarm, remembering that an attack on any of us harms all of us. Our goal in all things should be understanding, not blame.

We can resolve to make changes in our individual sphere of influence to counter stereotypes of selfish, “cat fighting” women. Are you a woman manager? What have you done to mentor a woman in your charge? What guidance or encouragement could you give TODAY?

I’ll never forget my best boss, a woman named Lauren Martin. On the eve of my first presentation before a large audience of strangers at a professional conference, knowing that I was nervous, she took the time to write me a note praising my speaking skills, saying she knew I’d do a great job. A small gesture. I’ve kept that note in my wallet for fifteen years as a reminder to be as generous to others as she was to me.

*****A

By: Rampart

Rampart — Wed, 13 May 2009 21:21:31 +0000

just to slightly amend my prior list. women seem to make snap judgments against women who appear older, they term it dowdy. the assumption is that they can’t be capable of fresh thinking and creativity. i just don’t see them doing the same thing to older men.

By: samanthasmom

samanthasmom — Wed, 13 May 2009 21:20:56 +0000

Amy,
Were there any members of your sorority who couldn’t be counted on to “have your back”? How did your sorority deal with them? Did you cover for them anyway? Kick them out or refuse to let them in at all? How successful would a sorority be if many members of the sorority attacked it from within? How many common areas of agreement are enough to form a cohesive group? What if it turns out that we really disagree on more issues than we agree upon?