Comments on: Misogyny and Oppression at the DMV

By: Thia, GA

Thia, GA — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 15:32:57 +0000

Zee-
I am a Lucy Stoner! Thanks for the info.

By: Zee

Zee — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 15:16:43 +0000

JB in VA, I know what you mean about car manufacturers! I never wear shoulder harnesses because they are designed for men and cut women across the neck….some safety equipment, huh?

Neat post, thia….did you know that makes you a “Lucy Stoner?”

Go check out TN Guerilla Women’s latest post….it’s on women’s names! Apparently, CA just signed a “name equality” act.

By: Nancy Byrnes

Nancy Byrnes — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 08:34:18 +0000

Anna Belle,

If the kitchen sink is at a relatively low level, tall men have to bend down to use it. But if it were lifted to be tall man level, shorter women, and men, wouldn’t be able to use it at all (or have to stand on a box).

Same with a vacuum cleaner. If the handle is too long, nobody can use it. All these things are designed so the shortest likely user will be able to work with them. Otherwise they’d be getting returns all day long.

By: Kathy in CA

Kathy in CA — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 07:01:29 +0000

I live in CA – so many women keep their maiden names and we don’t have any issues with paperwork, etc. Sounds like there are two issues going on – first a poorly trained employee at the DMV, and Southern states are still decades behind independant women’s choices. Just so all of you don’t think the US has completely gone back to the dark ages – I have neighbors who own a small business. The husband put the business in his wife’s name (who kept her maiden name), because she put most of the money down, and he is older and felt for estate planning – just keep him out of it. He is considered only an employee. And, yes, it is a very successfull business – he does most of the work because they have 3 kids at home and one with special needs. They are lovely people.

Kathy

By: JB in VA

JB in VA — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 05:19:14 +0000

Excellent post, Thia. The term “maiden name” makes me shudder on so many levels — it has so many Victorian and pre-Victorian connotations.

Anna Belle – the other assumption that kitchens, appliances and kitchen furnishings are built on is that all women are short. As a taller type myself, adjusting to this over the years has been a real strain on my back, legs and general posture.

Loralai — you might check out some of the new designs of refrigerators, counters, dishwashers that come with adjustable heights. Although, no doubt they’re pricey.

Does anyone remember how “revolutionary” it was a few years ago when car manufacturers started figuring out that men and women are built differently? LOL

By: the15th

the15th — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 03:27:32 +0000

I like calling it a “birth name,” like Gloria Steinem suggested. Everyone, not just maidens, has a birth name.

And not only is my last name my father’s, my first name is the feminine form of a man’s name that was given to Roman women in the family of a man with that name. At this point, neither fact makes them any less mine.

By: Thia, GA

Thia, GA — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 01:30:48 +0000

I probably should have added that I’m not advocating any position either way. I have a male friend who wanted to change his name to his wife’s last name because he didn’t really have any family and was so much a part of hers. The hoops he had to jump through were ridiculous. I just think the pressure to change the name when you get married is nuts. Strangers feel they have the right to demand an explanation from me and then tsk tsk at me when it isn’t a “good enough” reason. Whatever works for you right?

I am going to steal ER’s idea of saying “we both decided to keep our maiden names.” LOVE that!

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 01:06:57 +0000

I took my husband’s last name for this very reason that you write about- I just didn’t want to deal with the constant struggle.

Plus, as I always say to my feminist friends who ask me- my maiden name was a man’s name too.

Sometimes I want my old name back- but it is just too hard to deal with as you have shown. Also- when you have young kids, then people think that they are children of a divorce if the name is different. It is all just so stupid.

By: Sheryl Robinson

Sheryl Robinson — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 00:45:42 +0000

I didn’t take my ex-husband’s last name when we married because I wasn’t about to surrender my identity, and his last name, though belonging to a venerable New England family, was nevertheless the phonetic equivalent of a derogatory term meaning a woman of loose morals.

Jay Mohr takes his wife’s last name: http://www.eonline.com/uberblo.....it_it.html

By: Lorelai

Lorelai — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 22:49:05 +0000

p.s. Constance – same here. ….I will need three different urns or gravestones as well. I’ve gone by so many different names since I’ve been married that I don’t even know who I am anymore….I just hope my social security can find the real me- if there’s any left.